


Whiskey Wedding

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Auror Harry Potter, Fake Marriage, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Healer Draco Malfoy, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28441572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Draco was only intending to spend his day off having a nice lunch at a nice restaurant. He had no intention of getting in the middle of Harry Potter’s break up. He had no intention of doing shots of whiskey. He definitely had no intention of waking up hungover and naked in Harry Potter’s bed. But somehow he had, and now Draco intended to forget all of these unintended events. At least, he had until he found the signed marriage certificate in his pocket.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58
Collections: Anonymous





	Whiskey Wedding

Draco swirled his glass of red wine as he watched the tall, blond waiter. The boy was at the next table over, filling the two women’s water goblets while rattling off the lunch specials (though neither occupant of the table were going order them). He was rather good looking – if barely legal and with a chip on your shoulder was your thing. It had been Draco’s thing once; when he himself had been barely legal and with a chip on his shoulder. But now? More than a decade had passed since the war and somewhere along the way boys like that had lost their appeal.

He took another gulp of wine and mentally sighed. Red had been a mistake; he should have gotten the Riesling.

“I just don’t understand why you won’t at least just meet him!” a man said from the booth behind him.

Eavesdropping was something Draco generally avoided – mostly because the things you picked up were incredibly mundane. And when they weren’t mundane, they were troublesome. Unfortunately, when you were having lunch by yourself on your one day off during the week? Eavesdropping was hard to avoid. Especially when the people behind you were having a domestic.

Because, though the tones were kept light and voices quiet- that was clearly what was happening.

“I told you; I’m not interested in children.” The other man said wearily.

“I’m not asking you to be interested in him. I’m asking you to share a table with him for one dinner.”

“And I’m answering you with a no.” The man said, his tone becoming sharper than before. “I wish you would just drop this so we could enjoy our meals.”

“Fine.” The first man said tightly.

The two fell silent for a while after that. Cutlery clattered against china as they ate in a terse silence. The waiter finally reached Draco’s table, clearing away the remnants of his Greek salad while dropping off the bill. Glancing over the numbers Draco took two large gulps of wine to finish off his glass.

“I just don’t understand what you think is going happen?” The first man said suddenly, his tone overly light now, like the conversation didn’t actually matter, when it was clearly mattered a great deal. “He’s not going disappear out of my life just because you don’t want to acknowledge him.”

“I’m not asking for him to!” The second man said, slamming his cutlery down and sounding exasperated at the resurrection of the conversation. “I just don’t think we’re in a place where I should be meeting him.”

“Not in a place? We have been together for almost 10 months now.”

“But not exclusively.” The second man replied quickly. The silence that followed this was inexplicably loud. Draco fished hurriedly into his pockets for his coin pouch, desperate to leave the restaurant before the shouting and cursing started.

Break ups were horrible things to experience – but as this one didn’t involve Draco- he didn’t plan to experience it.

“You’ve been seeing other people?” The first man asked coolly. All false levity exterminated from his tone now.

“Yes. We never agreed to be exclusive, and you knew I was seeing other people when this started.”

“Four months ago-” The first man shouted. He then pauses, clearing his throat as he tried to regain the false composure he was laboring for. “Four months ago,” he repeated quieter but still as harshly, “you told me you weren’t seeing anyone else. That it was only me.”

“Four months ago, I wasn’t seeing anyone else,” The second man said defensively. “But thing have changed since then. We never talked about going exclusive, we never agreed to anything.”

“But we stopped wearing condoms.” The first man said slowly, as he fought to suppress his rage. “I told you that I wasn’t comfortable having unprotected sex if there were other people involved.”

Ho.ly. Shit.

Draco dumped a handful of coins onto his table without even looking at them – he was either about to leave either the best tip of his life or skip out on most of his bill. But what Draco wasn’t going do? Was deal with this.

Draco jumped up from his table, throwing his cloak over his arm as he turned to bolt for the door. However, he saw he had made a serious miscalculation. He had assumed that there was about to be a Mount Vesuvius level eruption. What he hadn’t expected was a storm out, which apparently was what was happening. Because, as Draco turn to head for the door the man at the table behind him jumped to his feet as well. And suddenly, Draco’s eyes met Harry Potter’s for the first time in nearly a decade.

They both froze. Both knowing exactly what they had caught the other one in the middle of.

Ho.ly. Fuck.

Draco, coughed awkwardly as he diverted his eyes and hurried past Potter’s frozen form. Potter clearly followed closely behind him if the calls of “wait” and “stop” were anything to go by. Draco stepped out into the warm sunlight of mid-April but somehow, he could feel the cold contempt that was surrounding Potter follow him onto the cobblestone sidewalk.

“I didn’t mean to hear that!” Draco explained quickly. Turning to look at Potter who was red – either from embarrassment or rage- Draco’s couldn’t be entirely sure.

“Keep moving, I don’t want him to catch up.” Harry said, grabbing Draco’s upper arm and pulling him down the cobbled sidewalk. The eyes of witches and wizards on the street followed the duo as they marched along. They probably thought Draco was being arrested.

“I can’t think” Harry said with frustration as he pulled Draco around corners, and down alleys. Draco kept glancing behind them trying to spot Potter’s ex. Which was stupid, because he never actually saw what Potter’s ex looked like. But he assumed he would be a man running, and looking around desperately. Maybe waving a receipt. “Can you apparate us to a pub where we won’t get noticed? I need a drink.”

Draco mainly went to two pubs. The pub near his townhouse (The Giggling Goblin)- the pub which all his mates frequented and, the pub around the corner from St. Mungo’s (The Mermaid’s Malediction) the pub his all coworkers frequented. Neither screamed ‘won’t be noticed.’

Though, him bringing Potter into any pub didn’t particularly scream ‘not noticeable.’

The Leaky Caldron? Too full.

The Three broomsticks? Too full of children.

The White Wyvern? Too full of criminals.

The Hog’s head? Draco was too full of self-respect.

Draco remembered suddenly that Ogden’s had opened a new distillery and tasting room where you could sample all 20 of Ogden’s limited-run fire whiskey’s. It was probably their best bet to escape notice. The house elf servers would notice them of course; but house elves don’t count. Not many people go whiskey sampling at 1pm on a Friday afternoon. And the ones that did probably hadn’t starting their whiskey sampling at 1pm on a Friday afternoon.

“Hold tight,” Draco warned. The last thing he needed to do was splinch Harry Potter. Potter’s gripped Draco tighter, pressing his chest against Draco from shoulder to elbow. Though Draco couldn’t see it through his robes, he could tell now that Potter was pure muscles underneath. The prick.

With a crack, they arrived outside of the distillery. Potter kept a hold of Draco as they walked down the steps into the building. A house elf ran up to them as soon as they stepped through the door and introduced itself – Draco didn’t listen but Potter seemed interested.

The elf prattled on about the distillery and it’s offers while Draco rolled his eyes and scrutinized the empty room. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. No one listens to servers.

Draco tuned out the elf as he pulled his arm out of Potter’s grasp. He wondered if it was really necessary for him to wait for the elf to finish his monologue or could he just walk out now without a goodbye? It wasn’t like they had been hanging out. Potter had just commandeered him just to get him away from a guy.

“We’ll have two of the 8 whiskey samplers.” Potter said when the elf finally stopped talking. Draco looked at him startled. He hadn’t been planning to stay. And, he definitely hadn’t been planning to drink 8 shots of whiskey. Neither Potter nor the elf seemed at all interested in Draco’s plans though.

“Which ones would Mr. Potter like to sample sir?” The house elf squeaked excitedly.

“You choose,” Potter told the elf who nodded excitedly, ears flopping around his bobbing head.

The elf showed them to a small table with two stools in the back of the barely lit showroom. The table was designed to look like a whiskey barrel and the stools looked toddler size. Was it just the servers that were house elves or were the clientele as well?

With a snap of the elf’s fingers 8 shots of whiskey appear before each stool. Clearly Draco didn’t get a say in this table either. Potter thanked the elf, before throwing himself down onto the too small stool. He was famed for living dangerously.

“Well?” he asked staring up at Draco… Who, after a beat, sighed internally and sat primly down on the precarious stool.

“Potter, I wasn’t really planning on drink whiskey this afternoon.” Draco hedged.

“Nor was I.” Harry said sternly as he picked up his first shot and sniffing the amber liquid. Only Potter could weaponize honestly.

“I don’t normally drink 8 shots of anything anymore.” Draco tried again, watching as Potter tipped back the first shot.

“Me neither,” Potter said gruffly as a stream of smoke seeped out of his mouth. “Wow. That must have been the Dragon fire one.”

“I don’t usually drink this early in the day.” Draco pleaded.

“Does anyone?” Potter panted as he plucked up the second shot glass and held the liquid in front of his eye.

“Potter we barely know each other anymore. We haven’t seen each other since the trials. Do you really want to be out drinking with me? Wouldn’t it be better to call one of your mates out to have these with you?”

Potter’s eyes shifted from his drink to Draco face. “Malfoy,” he said firmly. “I’ve just ended a year long relationship AND found out I need to see a healer for STI testing. All I want to do right now is get shit faced and forget all about it for one night. You’re here and probably the only person who I can drink with who won’t ask me about it- so please just drink your damn whiskey.”

To punctuate his point Potter threw back his second shot while staring straight into Draco’s eyes and shivered. Fuck it. Draco reached out a picked up his first shot – at the rate Potter was going Draco would probably only have to drink 1 or 2 of his shots before Potter was too drunk to notice he had stopped – and really, how often did free limited-edition booze come knocking at your door?

Potter picked up his third glass and clinked it against the glass in Draco’s hand.

“Cheers,” they both said before throwing back the auburn liquid. The liquid burnt Draco’s throat worse than normal and when Draco breathed out smoke billowed from his mouth onto his hands.

“Fuck,” Draco gasped as he felt sweat beginning to form along the front of his neck – an area of his body he didn’t know could indecently sweat. He dabbed at his damp neck and temples with a napkin. “what the hell is happening?”

“I think it’s the dragon fire one,” Harry chuckled. “Like drinking real fire!”

“Dragon fire?” he breathed. He felt heat radiating through his entire body. “Really Potter? You couldn’t have warned me?”

Potter laughed deeply. “The next is the dittany infused bluebell fire whiskey – It freezes your throat up nicely. Quickly before the smoke starts coming out your other end.”

Draco glared at Potter who kept laughing unimpeded at Draco’s plight. Draco hurriedly tossed back the next shot, instantly the fire burning through his body was extinguished.

The second shot went down like normal fire whiskey, with the usual harsh burn, but the liquid left an ice-cold trail in its wake. Draco shivered as his body temperature dropped from forest fire to human to glacier in an instance.

“Fucking hell” Draco gasped, reaching down to cup himself as his balls recoiled so quickly he thought they might have shot into his lungs.

“I think the next is the giggle water infused whiskey.” Potter chucked. “It brings your temperature back up but it makes your suffering so funny.” Potter voice raised in pitch at the end as the struggled to finish the sentence before bursting into laughter again.

Draco, desperate for warmth, drank the third shot without pausing. The liquid didn’t burn on the way down this time- a worrying sign. Of course, he had just drank 3 shots in under a minute so that was not entirely unsurprising. Actually, it was quite funny really.

Draco burst into laughter at the thought. “Merlin, Potter. I was only planning to do one of these stupid things.”

“And now you’ve done three!” Potter cackled, throwing his head and body back so far that his stool tipped back onto 2 legs. Potter didn’t seem to notice he was about to fall until Draco reached out and grabbed his forearm, pulling him back onto four legs.

“Potter you sloppy bitch. I just saved your life!” Draco laughed as he clutched Potter’s arm.

“My hero!” Potter giggled as he gripped Draco’s hand around his arms. The two men continued laughing stupidly, tears rolling down their faces for a few more seconds until their laughter started to quiet. Potter, who had taken his shot first, managed to calm down and sit silently at the table. Draco stared at him as he breathing out one long calming breath, but then the corner of Potter’s lips twitched and Draco fell into a fit of giggles again. And soon even Potter was cackling again.

Finally, the effects of the fire whiskey had ebbed and the two were able to regain and maintain their composures.

“What the hell did they put in that giggle water?” Draco smiled, wiping the tears from his face.

“Merlin,” Potter chuckled slightly. “That was pretty good. I might need to buy a bottle of that for myself.”

“What? Not a bottle of the dragon fire?” Draco asked sardonically.

“No, I would buy a bottle of that for the interrogation room. I think someone would sell out their own grandmother after that shit.” Potter laughed, drying his cheeks and gasping for breath. “Don’t make me laugh, my abs hurt.”

“Oh good,” Draco sighed with relief, “I thought it was just my unfit abs hurting.”

“Oh Malfoy please,” Harry said rolling his eyes. “we both know you’re fit.”

“Not as fit as I was back in school” Draco said petulantly.

“No one is as fit as they were in school.”

“Yeah,” Draco say sarcastically. “You’re more fit – I felt your muscles.”

“Maybe” Harry said with a dispassionate shrug. “But they’re all from when I was still in the field. I just got a desk job. This whole body” Harry joked as he waved a hand down along his side, “is all a lie. It will be gone in 6 months.”

“Better find a new man quickly then.” Draco joked. Though from the way Potter’s face fell he could tell it was far too soon for that type of joke.

Apparently, on the day of a break up, not being able to find and man and dying alone wasn’t funny- who would of thought.

“Fuck.” Draco sighed pinching his nose. “Sorry. That was tactless.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” Harry reassured though he dropped his face into his hands and sat quietly for a very long time, deep in thought. Draco knew better to interrupt. As quietly as he could he pushed his tray of shot away from him. Potter was clearly about to say he needed to go home and Draco was more than willing to go home to. He could already feel the alcohol working its way through his system.

“I just can’t believe how stupid I feel.” Harry admitted softly, still covering his eyes with the palms of his hands.

“You have nothing to feel stupid about.” Draco muttered kindly, patting Harry’s elbow awkwardly. “From what I heard your boy sounds like a complete and utter arsehole.”

“He wasn’t.” Harry said sharply and Draco pulled back.

Well fuck him and his compassion.

The two sat in silence for a very long time. Draco’s uncomfortable. And Harry’s miserable.

“What about you Malfoy,” Harry sniffed, suddenly looking up from his hands to Draco. “You got a special little arsehole in your life?”

“Only my own.”

That got a weak chuckle out of Harry as he dried his eyes and cheeks. Draco hadn’t even realised Potter had been crying. Of course, saint Potter could even cry in public perfectly.

“What have you been up to then?” Potter ask, circling his finger around the lip of his shot glass as he tried to break the uncomfortable mood that had settled over them.

“Isn’t that all in my file?” Draco asked bitterly. He didn’t particularly feel like explaining to another auror his and his family’s life choices. He had spent 8 years doing that and he hadn’t missed it in the year interim.

“I wasn’t the auror in charge of your probation file Malfoy.” Harry said calmly. “Your record is kept private between you and the auror on file.”

Draco gave a disinterested hum.

“Have you been working?” Harry tried.

“Yes.” Draco said slowly. “At St. mungo’s. I’m a pediatric spell damage healer.”

“I didn’t know you liked kids Malfoy.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Potter.” He said challengingly. Course, ‘yes I do’ would have also suffice now that he thought about it.

“True…” Potter sighed. “Look, Malfoy. I’m sorry for how I was to you back at school-“

“God three shots and you’re already like this Potter?” Draco asked sharply. He was not going have a forgiveness-circle-jerk with Harry Potter in a distillery surrounded by house elves. “What were you thinking ordering eight shots?”

Potter gave a sardonic smile. He seemed to realise Draco didn’t want to rehash history, but he didn’t drop the interrogation. He dipped his pinky finger into his fourth shot and prod the liquid as they spoke.

"How’s your family going, Malfoy?" Harry asked he licked the liquid off his pinky. Hygienic.

"I don't have any kids if that's what you’re asking." Draco sniffed. Not everyone had to run out of school into domestic bliss like all the Gryffindors seemingly had.

"It's not. I'm asking how's your family?" Harry said disapprovingly. Draco frowned at this, that might actually be worse.

"Fine. Me and mother are off our parole now. Father still has 5 more years."

"I've heard your father's back to his old ways."

"No he's not!" Draco hissed furiously. "My family. My father. We've learned our lesson. We've repented. He's be following every single rule your ministry has imposed on him. How dare you suggest anything about-"

Draco fell suddenly silent as Harry hand grasped his hand gently.

"Calm down," Harry said softly stroking his thumb along the side of Draco's clenched fist. "I wasn't suggesting anything untoward. I just saw that he had donated a tidy sum to St. Mungo's last week."

"He's not buying my position at the hospital if that's what you think." Draco said waspishly as he attempted to pull his hand back, but Harry's grasp became firmer and he was unable to withdraw.

"I wasn't suggesting that either," Harry soothed. "I just know that your father use to donate frequently to St. Mungo's but stopped since the war, and this is the first time he's donated in years."

"Our families vault was heavily restricted during our parole. This is the first year my parents' have had access to it." Draco sniffed.

"Oh right," Harry nodded too drunk to truly feel awkward.

Draco pursed his lips as he considered. If Potter and his cronies were going cast aspersions against his father he was not going sit idly by and let it happen.

"When I was 3, I got really sick. No one really knew what was wrong with me. One-night father went to St. Mungo's chapel and prayed to god to save me. For them to find the cure. And if they did, he would donate to St. Mungo's every year until the day I died. That's why he does it Potter. That's why the sum was so large this time. He was making up for the last decade. It's not a political thing."

"I hadn't realized. What was wrong with you?"

"Poisoning. I ate some of my mother's Australian Cephalotus magicae follicularis flowers. I'm still one of six people to ever survive it. To be fair, not a lot of people eat them. Have you ever seen one?"

"No"

"If you had you would understand why. Really big, ugly vicious things. Killed one of the peacocks once."

"And your parents left a toddler alone with it?"

"Well, it was the only year mother planted it. She hadn't realized how skull-crushy it was."

"Excuse me?"

Draco smirked. "And there's still a lot of debate about which one of them had been watching me at the time."

"Who do you think was watching you?"

Draco chuckled at the silly question. "Mother of course. Father doesn't care two wits about the garden. Whenever mother is in the garden, she stops every two seconds to weed or cut something." The two fell silent again – there was nowhere really to go after casually accusing your mother of attempted neglectful homicide – which probably wasn’t even a real crime.

“what do you think this one is?” Potter asked pointing at the fourth shot.

“I don’t know, I didn’t listen to the elf.” Draco said waving a hand in dismissal. Potter smirked at that. Though, based on Granger’s latest work he wouldn’t dare look so amused if anyone else was around. Though, he wouldn’t be drinking with Draco if anyone else was around.

“I think you should drink first this time” Harry said, nodding his chin to Draco’s tray of shots.

“Do I look stupid to you?” Draco asked, smiling coldly.

“Only when you smile.” Harry said quickly. And just as quickly Draco’s hand shot out a smack him sharply on the shoulder. “Ow! Christ! Malfoy it was a joke.”

“Drink your damn whiskey.” Draco said dryly.

Smiling Harry picked up his fourth shot glass, he waved it vaguely towards Draco’s hand until Draco sighed a pick up his own glass as well. They clinked their glasses again and threw back their drinks. Draco wasn’t sure what type of fire whiskey it was but it didn’t appear to have any special qualities except tasting vaguely like someone had left a stalk of liquorice in a bottle of whiskey overnight.

The fifth was far too sweet and made Draco’s feet tingle. Normally, as a healer, this would have alarmed Draco but after one glass of wine and 5 shots of whiskey he couldn’t convince his brain to mind much about anything anymore.

What Draco did care about was how open and chatty Potter got after 5 shots of whiskey.

“God can you believe we’re 30 next year? I somehow feel spontaneously too old and too young to be thirty. Teddy starts Hogwarts next fall – can you believe that? It feels like only last week I was teaching him to tie his shoes and read picture books.”

Draco smile softly as a wistful look crossed Harry’s eyes as he shared a story of Teddy tying his trainers by himself for the first time - resulting in a nude 4-year-old springing through the family floo network to show off his shoes to every family member as a bemused Harry chased after him.

“So, he’s 10 now?” Draco asked laughing at the image of the Ministry poster auror being thawed by a nude child as Granger and Weasley sat frozen in shock at their breakfast table, toast halfway to their lips.

“Next week,” Harry nodded as he began to eye the 6th shot.

“Is he the child your paramour was so adamant to avoid?” Draco asked casually.

Harry hummed in annoyance as he dipped his pinky into this shot as well. “yeah, Teddy’s birthday dinner is next week. He’s a smart kid – too smart sometimes. He figured out I was seeing someone and asked me to bring him to his birthday dinner. Well- he told me all he wanted for his birthday was to meet him and told me if I truly thought of him like my own son, I would introduce him to my boyfriend.”

“Christ. Potter, he’s got you whipped.”

“I know, he’s probably going be a Slytherin.”

“What a blessing for your family.”

Potter snorted. “Ready for the next shot?

“So far we started with the worst ones.” Draco muttered as he picked up the 6th shot glass from the tray. The two men carefully clinked the small, full cups before knocking them back quickly. Draco straighten his head too quickly, spilling the last drops down his chin.

“Fuck!” he hissed wiping the whiskey from his face with his sleeve. “I’m such a fuck up.” Draco moaned staring at his sleeve as tear formed in his eyes.

“That’s not true, you’re not a fuck up!” Harry declared passionately his eyes also misty suddenly. “If anyone here is a fuck up it is me.”

“Oh yeah? Draco asked gruffly. “How exactly are you a fuck up Potter? Did you think being a death eater would make you cool? Did you help with the murder and torture of your classmates? Did you desperately try to make amends by being a healer only discover no one will let you treat them?”

Tears were running freely down Draco’s cheeks now, but he didn’t care. He just needed to make Potter understand. “I’ve been stuck as the emergency admittance healer on duty for 3 years Potter. You’re supposed to only do it a couple of days a month- but no one will let me be their child’s healer. Hell, most people won’t even let me examine their kids. I’m in spell damage because in emergencies the parents are so desperate for help, they don’t even question me being the one to provide it. But once their child is stable – they demand I get taken off the case. They demand a trustworthy healer. I’ll never escape my childhood mistakes. Maybe I don’t deserve to.”

“You do” Harry cried grasping both of Draco’s hands in his as he sobbed. “You’re not the same person you were in school. You weren’t even the same person in school as everyone thought you were. I still remember you in that bathroom. I saw you on the tower. I saw you in the room of requirements. You were never bad Draco. You were never evil.” Harry tears fell across Draco’s knuckles as his quivering lips pressed on soft kiss onto his fingers.

“No one but you will ever believe that Potter.” Draco sobbed, staring straight into Harry’s eyes as tears streaked down his face too. “There’s nothing I can do to prove I’ve changed. There’s no way to show them they can trust me with their child’s life. You wouldn’t leave Teddy in my care.”

“I would.” Harry said earnestly. “I fucking would Malfoy. And you would do a better job than me!”

Draco shook his head rapidly – that was a mistake as the room started shifting around him. He might have even fallen off the stupidly small stool if Potter wasn’t still holding Draco’s hand too his lips.

“It’s true,” Harry mumbled against Draco’s fingers. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to be with Teddy – I never had parents. I don’t know what he needs. I never say the right things. I always make the situations worse. That’s when I’m there. Everyone wants a piece of me – Hogwarts, the ministry, work, charitable events. I mess them all up when I’m there. But, how can I say no? I just wish I had someone to help me. But you saw I even mess that up. Wasting a year with a guy who couldn’t even bother to meet Teddy. Couldn’t even bring himself to love just me. The only thing he loved about me was the fame.”

“That’s the sad truth of it,” Harry whispered broken, raising his head off Draco’s hand to stare the man directly in the eyes. “Everyone wants to be with Harry Potter but nobody actually wants me. I just want to be like all my friends. Married, happy, supported. Luna’s getting married in August – soon it will just be me. Alone. Miserable. Tried. So very tired. Malfoy, I don’t know what I’m going to do now. Xavier was a dick, I knew he was a dick, but being with him was better than being alone. I don’t want to go back to being alone.”

Harry body racked with sobs and it was Draco’s turn to grip Harry’s hands and mutter “no” and “that’s not true” against his fingers. They sobbed together for a few more beats until they both stopped cry all together. The deep sadness that had washed over them had arrived silently, but its departure was palpable. It was like stepping out of the bath and only then realising how warm the water actually was.

“What… what was that?” Draco gasped, panic washing over him as he pulled back and attempted to dry his face with a napkin.

“That… I think that was the Dementor’s tears firewhiskey” Harry said horrified as he started at the empty 6th shot glass.

“Who would drink that? Why would they make that?” Draco steamed, grabbing his empty glass off the table and throwing it against the ground. The glass shattered but it did nothing to fix how shattered Draco felt.

“I’m… sorry about your work Draco… if there’s anything-” Harry said softly. Earnestly.

“Shut up Potter!” Draco hissed, turning back to glare at Harry’s flushed face. “What you heard- what just happened. Forget about it. I don’t want your sympathy. This isn’t a problem for you to solve. I’m not a problem for you to solve. Just like I can’t solve your fucking problem. So just shut the fuck up and forget about it.”

Harry nodded awkwardly. Draco was internally writhing. With anger at what the drink had done. And embarrassment at what he had admitted. It wasn’t like veretiserum. Nothing had compelled him to share with Potter. He had just felt so empty. So sad. So desperate for any touch of reassurance he had spilled his deepest shame. And if Potter’s sudden awkwardness was anything to go by, he had too.

“Fuck it I need a drink” Draco hissed throwing back the 7th shot. It made Draco feel like he was floating, though he knew he remained firmly planted in his seat. It was a nice feeling, the complete weightlessness of it – but the burning shame remained. Potter looked the same way as he drank. Pleased at the feel but still utterly devastated by the 6th shot.

Simultaneously they picked up the 8th shot, clicked glasses and downed the liquid without a word. It did nothing. Just regular fire whiskey.

“I’m not done drinking yet,” Draco slurred. The quick succession of shots was beginning to affect his body; his eyelids felt heavy. His head couldn’t stay still. His arms were too light. And everything was just too hot.

“Neither” Harry agreed. Nodding his head, eye closed, for far too long. “8 more shots?”

“No,” Draco moaned “let’s just get a bottle of the giggle stuff. I just wanna be happy”

They flagged down an elf and Draco demanded they bring them a bottle of the giggle water firewhiskey, along with 2 shot glasses. When the bottle and glasses had arrived Draco and Harry both quickly took a gulp straight from the bottle and uproariously laughed as Draco pocked the 2 shot glasses with a wink.

* * *

Draco hadn’t woken up and opened his eyes like normal. No, instead he has regained consciousness with his eyes already open. And that was regrettable because the room was too bright. And rotating too fast. He groaned as he slammed his eye shut tight.

God, He hadn’t been this drunk in years.

Why had he gotten this drunk?

Potter face floated to the forefront of his mind. Suddenly the memories of last afternoon came flooding back – the lunch, the break up, the shots… so many shots. He remembered how easy it was to laugh and talk with Potter. That had been nice- being able to see how far they had come since they were 11.

Maybe the next time they saw each other at a quidditch match they would be able to share a beer. His stomach clenched and turned over. No, no more booze. He was never drinking again.

Water.

They could share a nice, cold glass of water and catch up like they had done last night.

_“Did you desperately try to make amends by being a healer only discover no one will let you?”_

Draco’s embarrassment at the memory was physical. His eye snapped open in horror as he groaned in pain- the memory of that conversation hurt him more than whiskey ever could. He grasped his head in horror and rolled onto his side. He couldn’t believe he had said that. He wanted to kill the current owners of Ogden’s and every elf that worked for him.

Potter wouldn’t tell anyone. Potter was too good of a guy.

That thought didn’t help any – Telling Potter had been the most embarrassing part. Draco kicked out in fury- _um… what?_

Draco slowly dropped his hands from his head as he opened his eyes.

He hadn’t imagined it- his foot had connected with a hairy human leg. The hairy human leg of Harry Potter apparently.

Potter lay face down in Draco pillows – face pointed in the over direction but Draco could still recognize him. The iconic mop of messy black locks was messier than usually but still undeniably Harry Potter’s. 

Draco didn’t spend too long looking at his hair.

Several linguists could debate for a decade if Potter could be described as under the duvet. Sure the puffy white cotton covered his calves, ankles and feet but everything else was out and on full display. And boy what a display it was. Even relaxed you could see the back muscles hidden under the beautiful tanned skin. The dip of his spin was pronounced as it swooped down the middle of his broad shoulders and along back before ending at to his narrow waist. Just below the spine divot were two beautiful dimples, which umlauted a toned, round, mouth water ass.

Just one glance told Draco so much. Potter was naturally tan, but not as natural tanned as Draco imagined. Not that he imagined it. The man clearly spent a lot of time in the sun. Apparently, he preferred his shorts to sit low on his hips and end just above his knee.

What the hell was he doing?

Draco slammed his eyes shut as his heart hammed in his chest. What was he thinking look at Potter like that? Sure, the man was naked in his bed but staring at his ass like that? He wasn’t displaying himself willingly to Draco. This was just a result of circumstances.

Circumstances that left Potter naked in his bed.

Draco gasped and snapped his eyes open again. There was no circumstance where Potter should be ass out naked in his bed. Draco shot up- and instantly regretted it. Dropping back down he groaned as his head spun and spun and spun. A deeper groan echoed his and the mattress shifted under someone else movement.

“Malfoy?” Potter groaned out.

“Yes?” Draco asked, trying to will the world into making sense. Or at least to be motionless while he was motionless.

“Am I naked?” he asked weakly.

“You most assuredly are” Draco affirmed.

“And are you naked?”

Well, there was an interesting question. Keeping his eyes closed he raised a hand and patted his chest. Well, he was definitely topless. Lowering his hand, he snaked it beneath the duvet and gently patted between his leg. Nope nothing but skin and hair there too.

“I might have socks on?” Draco offered desperately. Potter gave no response. Draco however need a little something more than that because he couldn’t find a reasonable excuse for him and Harry Potter to be naked in a bed together. Because, the only excuse he could think of for two men to be naked in a bed together was not a reasonable thing for him to have done with Potter.

“Did we have sex?” Draco prodded after half a minute – which had felt like half a decade.

“I dunno” Harry said slowly, his voice a little hoarse. “I can’t remember. We’re naked so probably? But it would have been a handy or oral at most.”

“How do you know that?” Draco squeaked. How annoying, he was blushing and panicking like a 12-year-old Hufflepuff while Potter was calm and pragmatic. Maybe it was the auror training. Maybe this wasn’t Potter’s first time waking up hungover and naked with an enemy in his bed.

“I wouldn’t have been able to get hard after how much we drank” Potter admitted.

Oh.

“I would” Draco smirked. It probably wasn’t the right time to brag about his superior penis. Admittedly, he wasn’t sure when the right time would be but it was likely not when he was hung-over, blushing and naked in a bed with someone who had declared he needed an STI test the night before. But, knowing his penis could do what Potter’s could not was very satisfying.

Suck it Potter.

Oh. Merlin. He might have.

Potter shifted. “No, I haven’t been penetrated”

Draco’s eyes shot open. Potter was laying on his side facing Draco, his eyes open but looking upward in thought. One arm was curled up between them. The other reached back behind him to… _merlin._

“Are you?” Draco gasped. Potter’s eyes focused on his, he blushed and hurriedly pulling his hand back around.

“I was just trying to give you an accurate answer” Potter blushed.

“And how very thorough you were.” Draco agreed. Potter blushed deepened, which was very satisfying and funny. Until he spoke again.

“Have you been?”

“I thought you said you wouldn’t have been able to get it up?” Draco blanched.

“Well, I’m fairly sure. But I’ve never actually been that drunk of whiskey… I dunno if it acts differently on me then lager.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a long silent moment. Awkwardly, Draco lowered his gaze. Staring at Potter’s nipples while he fingered himself would embarrassing – but much less mortifying then doing it while staring into Potters eyes.

His entrance felt normal, no tenderness, no puffiness, no unexpected stickiness or substances outside … or inside.

“No” Draco said. Pulling his hand away faster than he had that time his mother had unexpectedly entered his room when he was 15. “I haven’t been either.”

“Good,” Potter swallowed. “You might still need to check incase… I mean, you heard yesterday about Xavier and there being … others.”

“Yes,” Draco said quickly, trying to cut this conversation as short as possible. “I’m a healer Potter. I know all about when I should get tested.”

“Er right. Sorry” Harry mumbled.

“Is this your bed Potter?” Draco asked. He had finally managed to see the room well enough to recognize it as completely unfamiliar to him. Potter glanced around slowly. Clearly fast movements were as soul-destroyingly-nauseating to him as they were to Draco at the moment. Good. He deserved to suffer because all of this- the dizziness, the embarrassment, the whiskey was all his fault.

“Yeah”

“Do you have any hangover potions?”

“I think Dean left a couple here… let me ask Kreacher-“

The loud crack of the elf appearing had been excruciating, but when the elf returned later (walking in through the door) with the potions he had handed a vial to Draco before Potter- which help soothe Draco’s heckles a little. The relief from the potion was instantaneous. Doubly so when he realized it was only 5am, and he would have time to nap before his afternoon shift at the hospital.

Kreacher offered to make him breakfast but he declined. He didn’t feel quite that confident in his stomach just yet.

Potter offered him the shower but he declined. He had spent quite enough time naked in Harry Potter’s house.

He dressed in the bathroom before getting Potter to lead him to the floo. There was a brief delay as they searched the house for Draco’s cloak – which they found pressed down into the cracks between the sofa cushions. Draco was not going examin what that suggested while still stood before Potter’s green gaze.

“Well, thanks for… drinking with me” Harry offered awkwardly.

“Yes,” Draco answered slowly backing towards the fire. “Um… thanks?”

Why the fuck had he thanked Potter? The memories he still had did not have any moments he felt particularly grateful for. And, who thanks someone for the drunken shag that might have happened but that neither of you particularly wanted to happen?

He wrapped the cloak around his shoulder, muttered his address as quietly as he could so Potter wouldn’t hear and stepped into the green flames. He stepped out onto his tidy afghan rug and let out a guttural cry. 

What the fuck?

What. The. Fuck?

WHAT. THE. FUCK?

He had gotten drunk, confessed his deepest woes, and more likely than not fucked around with Harry Potter who was on the rebound and would more likely than not get back together with this Xavier prat.

What the fuck had happened? Draco sighed, resting his head against the mantle as he shut off his floo. He needed to process all of this. He shoved his hands into his robe pocket as he strained his brain to try to remember what had happened between the distillery and Potter’s bed. Or at least what had happened in Potter’s bed.

In his left pocket he felt cool glass – those would be the shot glasses he stole. Why the fuck had he decided to do that?

The fingers of his right hand brushed against parchment. He pulled it out, expecting to find a receipt or a blank prescription note from the hospital.

Instead, what he found was an entirely unfamiliar form.

“Certified copy of an Entry of Marriage.”

And there was his information, and there was Potter’s information. And there, at the bottom, the unfamiliar signature of the registrar.  


**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Years to the one person who managed to put up with my writing and got to the end. I see and appreciate you mom.
> 
> I haven't written a fic in years, and never posted one on Ao3 before but, registrars offices and forms filled out in triplicate are still peak sexy right?


End file.
